so life at home pretty much sucks.... i don't know how i feel about J.... i don't know how i can feel absolutely in love with someone one night and want to go out with someone else the next.... this isn't a feeling that i've ever encountered before... i love him but i know our relationship is very destructive for the both of us.... i know he loves me, but i also know that he doesn't like me more often than not..... i'm just not sure how to feel about the situation....
i'm still unemployed.... and i hate it.... i don't know where i'm going to be able to make the same money that i used to....the whole situation makes me so furious i could spit! i might go work at ikea or at circuit city.... but i just don't think that i will make enough money at either one of those places to pay my bills.....
i just recently totaled my car..... some jackass pulled out in front of me and there was no way i could stop from hitting him.... just another problem for me.... i have a shitty home life, no job, and no car... ugh my life is absolutely sucking at this point... hopefully i can convince my dad to help me buy a car or else i'm going to be that much more screwed....
lastly, i'm so glad this semester is over.... after i lost my job i just had an overwhelming sense of helplessness..... i had a routine worked out... i was constantly going for 2 years and i felt like the bottom just fell out of my life.... my grades were worse this semester than they've ever been... i really hope i can make up for this semester during the summer.... i really need to get things back on track, but i'm just not sure how to get things back to the way they used to be.
that's life for now... i really hope something changes soon...
